Many people grow up with the belief that money is a private, sometimes even taboo, subject. In a lot of Filipino households, financial matters are often kept within certain boundaries, discussed behind closed doors, or not discussed at all. This approach is shaped by tradition, a desire to keep the peace, or simply the belief that talking about money openly might cause discomfort among the parties involved. While this mindset may have its roots in the desire to keep the harmony, carrying it into adult romantic relationships can sometimes lead to missed opportunities for setting shared goals, resolving hidden issues, or making well-informed decisions together.

The truth is that managing money together doesn’t have to be stressful or complicated. When couples approach their finances as a team, it can bring them even closer. With the right mindset and practical strategies, Filipino couples can build healthy financial habits and avoid common pitfalls that lead to arguments.

If you and your partner are navigating shared finances, this guide offers practical ways to strengthen your money management as a couple without compromising your relationship.

1. Know about Each Other’s Relationship with Money

Every couple brings together two financial worlds, often shaped by different upbringings and habits. One of you might be the cautious saver who always wants to be prepared for emergencies, while the other enjoys treating loved ones or making impulse purchases. Neither is inherently wrong; it’s simply a matter of different priorities.

So, before you begin combining your resources or making shared decisions, take time to talk about how each of you was raised when it comes to money. Did your family budget strictly? Was generosity emphasized even in times of hardship? These conversations can help you better understand each other’s attitudes toward spending, saving, and debt.

2. Set a Shared Vision

Money management is more meaningful when it’s tied to a shared purpose. Instead of focusing only on paying bills and covering basic needs, discuss your hopes and dreams as a couple. Do you both want to own a home within five years? Travel to Japan for your anniversary? Start an online business or move abroad?

Consider having a “dream-casting” session where each of you writes down personal and shared goals, then you come together to align and prioritize. Once your visions are clear, strategize how to make them happen. For example, you can leverage credit card promos to stretch your budget. In the case of the Landers Cashback Everywhere Credit Card, you can earn up to 5% cashback points at Landers, 2% on dining spends, and 1% on all other qualified transactions.* Each point is equivalent to PHP 1, and the points you accumulate can be used as a discount on your next purchase at Landers. Such a financial tactic can help you save up for your goals.

3. Choose a Money System That Works for You

There is no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to managing money as a couple. The best system is the one that suits your needs and personalities. Some couples go for the “joint-everything” model, where all income and expenses are pooled. This works well for those who have similar financial habits and complete trust. Others prefer the “yours-mine-ours” approach, which allows each person some independence while still maintaining a shared account for joint expenses.

Another practical option is the proportional contribution model. If one partner earns significantly more than the other, contributing to shared expenses based on a percentage of each person’s income (rather than splitting everything 50/50) can feel fairer and more sustainable.

Once your visions are clear, start discussing realistic ways to turn them into action. This might mean setting up regular monthly transfers into a shared savings account dedicated to your goal, finding a budgeting app that helps you both track spending habits, or exploring financial tools that give you more value for your money. For example, leveraging credit card promos can help stretch your household budget. The Landers Cashback Everywhere Credit Card, for instance, lets you earn up to 5% cashback points at Landers, 2% on dining spends, and 1% on all other qualified transactions. Each point is equivalent to PHP 1 and can be redeemed as a discount on future purchases. Used wisely, this kind of strategy can complement your savings and make it easier to reach goals like travel, home upgrades, or special celebrations.

4. Be Financially Transparent from the Start

Openness is also essential when it comes to money. Even if you're not merging accounts, hiding income, loans, or purchases can lead to distrust. Start by laying all your cards on the table. Talk about your current income, existing debts, regular expenses, savings, and even financial obligations to your families. This might feel uncomfortable at first, but transparency builds a foundation of honesty that can carry you through bigger challenges later.

5. Create Rules for Discretionary Spending

Fights often erupt over unplanned or excessive spending. To prevent this, it helps to set clear guidelines for discretionary purchases. Agree on a spending threshold where anything above the agreed amount requires a discussion before making the purchase. Don’t think of it as asking for permission to spend, but showing respect for your shared financial goals.

6. Learn to Diffuse Money Conflicts

Even the most well-planned financial systems won’t eliminate every disagreement. What matters more than avoiding arguments is learning how to manage them constructively. When tensions rise, avoid the blame game. Instead of saying, “You always waste money,” try framing your concerns as feelings: “I feel anxious when we dip into our savings unexpectedly.”

Sometimes, it's helpful to take a break and cool off before resuming the conversation. Revisit the topic when both of you are in a better headspace. Taking turns leading money discussions also helps. You can set a once-a-month discussion where your partner reviews the expenses while you listen, and vice versa, the next time.

7. Recognize When It’s Time to Call in Outside Help

There’s no shame in seeking guidance when you need it. If financial conversations are turning into frequent arguments or becoming too overwhelming, consider speaking with a professional. A registered financial planner can help you create a sustainable financial plan tailored to your shared goals. If the emotional aspect is more difficult to navigate, couples therapy or relationship counseling might be helpful.

When couples handle money together, it doesn’t have to lead to fighting. Instead, it can be a powerful way to build trust, deepen connection, and work toward a shared future. The key is open communication, as well as flexibility and mutual respect. Start with one small step, like simply sharing your goal or personal financial story over dinner. Over time, those small steps will add up to big wins for both your love life and your financial life.

*Transactions that don’t qualify include: cash in, cash advance, quasi cash purchases, casinos and gambling, fuel, supermarket, pharmaceuticals, utilities, telco, and government.